Tuesday, March 22, 2016

I'm Givin' Up! I'm Givin' Up on Givin' Up!

Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord... but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel..." 2 Timothy 1:8

Well if that's not the coolest scripture ever!  "Hello!  Welcome to the true gospel!  Here's your plate full of afflictions so the Lord can really see if you're ret ta go!!!" Flippin' sweet! I think I've eaten one plate just here in Cuautla haha

I'm going to be honest with you all, because I have no reason not to be. Tuesday, I gave up mentally. Straight up gave up. It's not hard walking all day anymore. But it is hard walking all day without even the slightest bit of success. And it's even harder doing that all week. So I just stopped. We continued to walk, but I wasn't mentally there. And I knew it, and didn't care. I didn't pray for strength. I didn't ask for help. I didn't want any. I was done. And just to add insult to injury, my comp has been talking about going home and has just been angry not wanting to work all week. So we got home, I didn't say anything to my comp and I went to bed.

Wednesday. I woke up knowing what I did was wrong. I've really never given up like that before. So I got on my knees and prayed for everything. Luckily we had a multi zone conference this day and I asked my president if we could talk after. I told him what's been going on and he told me he's driven around before and has seen me working so he knew that wasn't the problem. Which gave me some relief because I didn't know if my work was weak or what I was doing wrong. So we just got things worked out and he told me we might close this area  again if it doesn't have success. I also apologized for giving up, and I want to say sorry for giving up to you all. Because that's not why I'm here or who I am.

Thursday was a nice big bowl of nothing again! It's funny and sad at the same time. Funny because after a rejection you think, "haha it's your salvation!" then you think, "oh shoot! it's their salvation! and you want to chase them down, knock them out, take them to church and shove the sacrament down their throat, but that would be inhumane.

Friday was cool. We had an open house at the church explaining about the plan of salvation. The elders, of course, represented the celestial kingdom. So we were all dolled up in our white clothes and we looked good. I mean, really good! There were several non members there, but none in our area... It was a pretty lax day for missionaries I guess you could say.

Sunday was awesome because the 4 elders in our ward gave talks. None of us really knew each others topic, but we all talked about the same thing. It was cool to see the talks interlace about the atonement. And the sister who we ate with after asked if we could share the talks again with her daughter and grandson who are inactives. That was a cool experience as well!

Well, there isn't a lot more to report on here. We have changes next week and I don't know if I want to be changed or not. The president gave me a some kind of hint of what would happen but it could go either way. We'll see what happens!  Also, you can know that I'm not sad, or angry, or anything like that. I'm actually happy! And that's because of your prayers! Thank you!

Stay Classy
Elder Johns

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